Red Red Wine

Pity I don't enjoy white wine. Spills are much less conspicuous. After wine was accidentally spilt over my shirt, I knocked over my own glass onto someone else. Three girls, all drunk, and all wearing white shirts. When we left, our clothes were accessorized by splatters of red wine. The sleeve of my shirt was also caked with chocolate.

Vanish, you are a saviour. White shirt now gleaming and stain-free. If only there was an instant fix-it for my hangover. I've just devoured a steak sandwich for lunch and no doubt will eat another steak for dinner. It's the right thing to do, marrying red wine with red meat. Things could have turned out much worse - I could be vegetarian.