Five-Day Forecast

I have yet to awaken from my apathy, my life inertia. The dreadful tasks of house-hunting, job-searching (yep, that time of the bloody year again) and applying for the HSMP visa, are threatening to destabilise my soft cosy emotional cocoon. Being an optimistic pessimist, at least I can say that I no longer wish for my own extinction. It's amazing how rapidly that cloud has lifted without the aid of medication (for a moment I wondered if it were possible to ever feel normal again) but I can't reassure myself that the forecast is going to be fine and sunny. There's always an undercurrent of fear that any minor crisis is going to send me back there, and on the horizon, there are many things about to happen that have the potential to turn pear-shaped. I'm just waiting and seeing and living my life through a computer screen in the meantime.

Thank God for this parallel virtual universe and the millions of people with whom I share it. I'm not alone in my experiences and not the only geek who reads and writes about life more than living it. In the safety and distance of anonymity I actually feel more intimately involved with the outside world and far more honest with myself.