Happy Again

I'm sick with a cold, unwell in the head (unless normal people fall asleep dreaming they'll sleep forever and always awake feeling disappointed) and we're stealing broadband until our own gets installed. The weight and heaviness just doesn't shift and I am feeling so fatigued, and all the time.

Much like this congestion and runny nose that hasn't budged even a tiny bit with, "Sudafed." British Sudafed's "active" ingredient is phenylephrine, a less effective alternative to what I'm used to when taking Sudafed from elsewhere. Give me pseudoephedrine, PLEASE. I want to be able to breath through my nose again. I want stop the nasal drip. I want to be able to sleep through the night.

But more than anything, I want to feel like I want to live. I want to feel alive. I want to stop wishing for a different life because I feel so trapped and helpless to do anything about the current one in which I find myself. I want to remember what it feels like to be happy again.